I haven't written this post down because it means I have to tell you all what I weigh.
And I know for a fact that some of you who read this weigh almost half of what I weigh and well, that just makes me feel really embarrassed and repulsive.
But I think it's important for me in being accountable for what I'm eating, for taking care of this body, for losing the excess weight and gaining the lifestyle and good health I want.
Today I weigh 93.3kgs
When I started I weighed 97.6kgs
I am 1.67m tall
My goal weight range is 71-56kgs.
I dream of weighing 60kgs. (I weighed 61kgs in 1984 when I was 13 and in 6th grade. I was probably just a few cms shy of how tall I am now. I know I weighed that as it was a public weigh-in during PE at school and there was an audible gasp from the other girls in my class.)
My dream goal weight is 65kgs.
My realistic goal weight is 68kgs.
My first goal is to lose 5kgs by next Thursday, 15 November.
I want to be under 90kgs by Christmas.
That is a loss of at least 3.3kgs in 6 weeks.
Then my 10% goal - 87.8
Then to be under 85kg by 4 February (when I return to work from maternity leave)
Then my next 10% goal - 79kg
Then under 75kg
Then my next 10% goal - 71kg
Then to be under 70kg
Then goal.
I think my goals for weight loss by return to work are ambitious (particularly considering my birthday, Christmas, New Years and Australia Day are in there) and I'm not convinced I have the willpower to do it. But then I beat myself up that if I really wanted it I would work hard for it.
But I also know me.
I know that I love food and I love to bake and I love to eat.
And that weight loss for weight loss's sake is not worth it.
Because it all just comes back tenfold.
I need to do this in a way that is sustainable.
I like chocolate. I adore cake. I love a drink. An antipasto plate is a beautiful thing.
I am not going to be the person who nibbles on a carrot stick all the while wanting to bury her head in the blue cheese.
This is going to take some time.
