Couple of small bites of Turkish toast (Jasper's uneaten offerings) - progress. Last week I would have eaten the lot.
Had a Tokyo Tofu salad at Banana Blossom for lunch - I hadn't been there in months and it was so freakin' delicious.
In the afternoon I had a couple of M&Ms and chips with the kids, not ideal but I didn't gorge, so again, progress.
The boys are out with their dad tonight so I'm not eating.
A good day.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Monday, October 19, 2015
The Rules
I should probably lay out what my rules are in terms of losing weight.
Yes, I know there are those who say it has to be lifestyle change yadda yadda yadda, you can't restrict yourself too much blah blah blah.
But I know what works for me and I need structure, I need boundaries.
Eating small meals throughout the day makes me pile weight on, even if it is nutritious, healthy options, it's just how my body works.
Eating no grains makes me sad. Eating no fat makes me sadder.
So I'm doing a blacmange of a few different things.
The first is no carbs and protein together, and when I do eat carbs they have to have a low GI. I followed this regime and this regime only around 19 years ago and dropped 20kgs. It was manageable and I didn't feel like I was denying myself.
Having kids broke me of it but now they're older I feel I can return to this principle.
The hardest component of this for me is bread. Stunning fresh sourdough laden with cultured salted butter. I reassure myself that once the weight is off I can have it every now and then, but in the weight loss phase, no.
The second is doing the 5:2 thing. This most recent 6kg drop was largely due to that. I was pretty hopeless at the 2 thing but my calorie intake was still way down on what it had been. This time around I'm going to really work at getting that calorie intake to a bare minimum on those two days.
The thing is, I really like it. It makes me feel like I'm back in control. I know feeling hungry is a good thing and I am having a real psychological battle with myself that I am not going to die and I do not have to be miserable just because my belly is empty.
The third prong is no eating from 8pm to 12pm. I am doing this following hearing about it on the health report on ABC national. Studies have found fasting from that period every day resulted in more sustained weightloss than 5:2 alone and the weight was kept off more successfully.
So that's it.
Embrace the hunger
Back away from the carbs
Lots of soda water
Heaps of veggies
I haven't talked about exercise yet. Mentally I'm just not there. I know in myself I need to lose more weight first - I want to be back in the 80s before I start. Some will say no no no, get out there! And I'm working on the "ignore the emotion, do the action" theory, but I just need time on this one.
Onward.
Yes, I know there are those who say it has to be lifestyle change yadda yadda yadda, you can't restrict yourself too much blah blah blah.
But I know what works for me and I need structure, I need boundaries.
Eating small meals throughout the day makes me pile weight on, even if it is nutritious, healthy options, it's just how my body works.
Eating no grains makes me sad. Eating no fat makes me sadder.
So I'm doing a blacmange of a few different things.
The first is no carbs and protein together, and when I do eat carbs they have to have a low GI. I followed this regime and this regime only around 19 years ago and dropped 20kgs. It was manageable and I didn't feel like I was denying myself.
Having kids broke me of it but now they're older I feel I can return to this principle.
The hardest component of this for me is bread. Stunning fresh sourdough laden with cultured salted butter. I reassure myself that once the weight is off I can have it every now and then, but in the weight loss phase, no.
The second is doing the 5:2 thing. This most recent 6kg drop was largely due to that. I was pretty hopeless at the 2 thing but my calorie intake was still way down on what it had been. This time around I'm going to really work at getting that calorie intake to a bare minimum on those two days.
The thing is, I really like it. It makes me feel like I'm back in control. I know feeling hungry is a good thing and I am having a real psychological battle with myself that I am not going to die and I do not have to be miserable just because my belly is empty.
The third prong is no eating from 8pm to 12pm. I am doing this following hearing about it on the health report on ABC national. Studies have found fasting from that period every day resulted in more sustained weightloss than 5:2 alone and the weight was kept off more successfully.
So that's it.
Embrace the hunger
Back away from the carbs
Lots of soda water
Heaps of veggies
I haven't talked about exercise yet. Mentally I'm just not there. I know in myself I need to lose more weight first - I want to be back in the 80s before I start. Some will say no no no, get out there! And I'm working on the "ignore the emotion, do the action" theory, but I just need time on this one.
Onward.
Day 1, Week 1
So here I am. I'm six kilos down but am stuck. I keep self-sabotaging, making excuses and just plain ignoring my goal.
I'm currently 94kgs or thereabouts (if it's above that I'm going to get too depressed and quit so I'm not looking until this time next week) and my goal is 70.
My secret goal is 65 but I know me at 72kgs and I'm pretty thin and looking good, so my realistic goal is 70.
I have 24kgs to go.
That is so much better than the 30 I had to lose 3 months ago.
My shrink and I have a goal that I lose 4kgs between each monthly visit. The end of last week (I see him on a Wednesday) was dreadful - pre-menstrual to the hilt and ate carbs for Australia. With lashings of butter.
So today, Monday, is the start of a new week and refocused goals.
It may be tedious but this is also going to be my online food diary - the notion of it being public will hold me more accountable.
Today:
icing - not the best start. (It's Jasper's 10th birthday)
2 cups of tea
2 hard boiled eggs, 1 tsp butter, salt and pepper
1/2 avocado
small bowl of butter chicken, rice and raita (Jasper's birthday dinner)
Piece of lemon sauce cake
A good day.
I'm currently 94kgs or thereabouts (if it's above that I'm going to get too depressed and quit so I'm not looking until this time next week) and my goal is 70.
My secret goal is 65 but I know me at 72kgs and I'm pretty thin and looking good, so my realistic goal is 70.
I have 24kgs to go.
That is so much better than the 30 I had to lose 3 months ago.
My shrink and I have a goal that I lose 4kgs between each monthly visit. The end of last week (I see him on a Wednesday) was dreadful - pre-menstrual to the hilt and ate carbs for Australia. With lashings of butter.
So today, Monday, is the start of a new week and refocused goals.
It may be tedious but this is also going to be my online food diary - the notion of it being public will hold me more accountable.
Today:
icing - not the best start. (It's Jasper's 10th birthday)
2 cups of tea
2 hard boiled eggs, 1 tsp butter, salt and pepper
1/2 avocado
small bowl of butter chicken, rice and raita (Jasper's birthday dinner)
Piece of lemon sauce cake
A good day.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Starting all over again. Again.
Yep. Been here before.
Sick of the fat.
Sick of the lack of fitness.
Sick of the self-loathing.
But I'm back.
10kgs by Christmas.
I'm also going to do the Couch to 5km program. With Felix. So that will have to start once his whooping cough is dealt with.
I've got the number for a local Zumba class.
Mum is well enough I can get back into going for a swim two mornings a week.
It's time.
Sick of the fat.
Sick of the lack of fitness.
Sick of the self-loathing.
But I'm back.
10kgs by Christmas.
I'm also going to do the Couch to 5km program. With Felix. So that will have to start once his whooping cough is dealt with.
I've got the number for a local Zumba class.
Mum is well enough I can get back into going for a swim two mornings a week.
It's time.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Helloooooooooo
Howdy strangers
Are we back - are we going to nail this sucker once and for all?!!??!!
Time to lose it.
Criteria and Motivation
Are we back - are we going to nail this sucker once and for all?!!??!!
Time to lose it.
Criteria and Motivation
- I am not pregnant (tick)
- I am breastfeeding (tick and tick)
- My stomach is grotesque and hangs about in weird places (ticks me right off)
- I have seen myself in a mirror lately (no tickets on myself there)
- I can not afford a whole new wardrobe...... again (unless fat girl shop has a further 50% off the already reduced ticketed price)
- I am worth it (tick tick tick).
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Well hello there
I've just returned from my monthly check-in with my psychiatrist. We talked a lot about my weight. About how I need to lose 15kgs to be back in a land where I feel good about myself, look good and am far healthier than I am now.
This year has been all about the weight loss so naturally I have put on about 4 kilos.
I'm now the heaviest I've been since 2007, post Grover pregnancy.
My fat girl clothes are not fitting.
I am panicked, PANICKED, about my weight.
Which of course is the worst thing to be because you look on yourself with loathing and the future with fear. Fear of losing the weight but then finding you are not losing the weight. And then your mind becomes a mine field of what ifs. What if this is how I will look for the rest of my life? What if I never lose all this belly fat? What if I develop diabetes? What if What if What if.
It's so freakin' unhealthy.
So my shrink, M, gave me a new strategy today. For the first time in my weight loss obsessive life I am not focusing on the end point. I am not focusing on the weight. Instead, I'm going to focus on two things:
1. Activity
2. Portion
1. Activity
I have to schedule physical activity. Diarise it. If I miss the 'appointment' I have to put a big red cross through it. If I make the 'appointment' then I put a big green tick through it.
It does not have to be every day.
But I have to schedule it and keep the times firm in my diary.
2. Portion
A return to eating sensible sized portions of whatever I'm eating.
Again, it doesn't have to be every day - we're aiming for 5/6 days out of 7.
I am not to set foot near scales for at least six weeks. If and only IF I start to notice some clothes fitting better I can weigh myself.
I am making this sound very didactic which he didn't at all. If he had that would have been a 'sub-optimal' delivery of a message - as M would say. Isn't that awesome. I'm so going to use that with the boys - 'Grover, screaming at me because you're tired but don't want to go to bed is a sub-optimal way of winning favour with me'.
So - off we go again.
This year has been all about the weight loss so naturally I have put on about 4 kilos.
I'm now the heaviest I've been since 2007, post Grover pregnancy.
My fat girl clothes are not fitting.
I am panicked, PANICKED, about my weight.
Which of course is the worst thing to be because you look on yourself with loathing and the future with fear. Fear of losing the weight but then finding you are not losing the weight. And then your mind becomes a mine field of what ifs. What if this is how I will look for the rest of my life? What if I never lose all this belly fat? What if I develop diabetes? What if What if What if.
It's so freakin' unhealthy.
So my shrink, M, gave me a new strategy today. For the first time in my weight loss obsessive life I am not focusing on the end point. I am not focusing on the weight. Instead, I'm going to focus on two things:
1. Activity
2. Portion
1. Activity
I have to schedule physical activity. Diarise it. If I miss the 'appointment' I have to put a big red cross through it. If I make the 'appointment' then I put a big green tick through it.
It does not have to be every day.
But I have to schedule it and keep the times firm in my diary.
2. Portion
A return to eating sensible sized portions of whatever I'm eating.
Again, it doesn't have to be every day - we're aiming for 5/6 days out of 7.
I am not to set foot near scales for at least six weeks. If and only IF I start to notice some clothes fitting better I can weigh myself.
I am making this sound very didactic which he didn't at all. If he had that would have been a 'sub-optimal' delivery of a message - as M would say. Isn't that awesome. I'm so going to use that with the boys - 'Grover, screaming at me because you're tired but don't want to go to bed is a sub-optimal way of winning favour with me'.
So - off we go again.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Duyvken checks in
Slow progress here chez Duyvken has me feeling a little low about this weight loss caper. I know it's the things I do every day that make the difference but I still find myself indulging in Tour de France junk food more than I should. I'm not even staying up to watch the Tour but Mr Duyvken and his cycling pals are often here into the wee hours of the morning and they've been enjoying home-made pizzas, pikelets with caramel sauce and ice-cream, deep fried chicken and plenty of chips, tim tams and OJ. It's the leftover tim tams and chocolates that are bringing me down!
I'm still losing weight but nowhere near as quickly as I would have liked. Of course, the irritating thing about this is that I know it is entirely within my control. I just need to do more sustained exercise - longer walks, cycling, running, etc but it is too easy to take the slacker option.
I don't want to be a slacker so I'd better start making some better decisions and I'd better do it quickly!
I hope all my fellow boombalardians are well and heading in the right direction,
Duyvken.
Current weight: 57.5
I'm still losing weight but nowhere near as quickly as I would have liked. Of course, the irritating thing about this is that I know it is entirely within my control. I just need to do more sustained exercise - longer walks, cycling, running, etc but it is too easy to take the slacker option.
I don't want to be a slacker so I'd better start making some better decisions and I'd better do it quickly!
I hope all my fellow boombalardians are well and heading in the right direction,
Duyvken.
Current weight: 57.5
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